Divorce is often perceived as an ending, a closure to a chapter once filled with love, dreams, and shared aspirations. How does one move from a union of two, to an ending of one and still feels like she can find the woman within.
Having been through a divorce myself, I like many, realised that it was also the beginning of an uncharted journey of rediscovery and self-worth. But with no map, no identifiers and really no clue about what one is supposed to do in the situation of a divorce.
The very first thing that was evident to me was a hollow loneliness. One that only other people who have been through a divorce can understand.
I found the process to be tumultuous, with waves of grief, confusion, hurt, anger, regret. All that all scarred different parts of my heart. And yet sometimes there were fleeting moments of relief.
It’s a very painful and difficult road, and yet within this chaos, I realised one thing – I got to reconnect with the woman that I once was – a journey that revealed profound lessons about self-worth and resilience.
And it is with grace and humility that I would like to share these with you now.
Embracing The Void
The end of a marriage leaves a void.
It’s an empty space once filled by a partner, shared routines, and mutual dreams. This emptiness can feel overwhelming, but it also provides a blank canvas.
It is an invitation to explore parts of yourself that may have been overshadowed or neglected during the marriage. Take time to embrace this void.
Sit with your emotions, acknowledge your pain, and allow yourself to grieve. This process is crucial, as it creates the foundation for healing and personal growth. But don’t rush it.
Allow the grief to rise, acknowledge it, examine it and then release it. Don’t hold onto ‘what if’s’ or things that will no longer serve you in the next phase of your journey in life.
Reconnecting With Your Authentic Self
In many relationships, especially long-term marriages, individuals often compromise parts of their identity.
In giving myself to my then husband, I lost me. It wasn’t instantaneous. It was slow and gradual over time.
Going through my divorce, I realised that some of the things I lost were: time that I will never be able to retrieve with members of my family as they have now passed on; negating my dreams to fulfil his; saying ‘yes’ to many times, when I should have said ‘no’ and always putting myself last.
Divorce offers a unique opportunity to reconnect with your authentic self and I began by reflecting on who I was by asking myself the following questions:
– What are your passions and interests?
– What activities bring you joy and fulfillment?
– Who were you before the marriage, and how have you evolved?
I also re-learnt to engage in activities that ignited my spirit and brought me closer to my true self.
Whether it’s rediscovering a forgotten hobby, traveling, or simply spending time in nature, these experiences will help you reconnect with your inner essence.
Building A Support System
Navigating life post-divorce can be lonely, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or even support groups who understand your journey. Sharing your experiences and listening to others can provide comfort and perspective.
I opted to seek professional help through therapy, and I found it to be invaluable in helping to process my emotions and rebuilding my own self-worth.
Setting Boundaries And Prioritizing Self-Care
Divorce often comes with a renewed understanding of the importance of boundaries.
Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is a crucial aspect of self-worth. Learn to say no to situations and relationships that drain your energy or compromise your well-being.
I began by prioritising my own self-care in small ways and slowly, I saw the differences it was making in my life. This encouraged me to then began to develop regular routines to nourish the mind, body and soul.
I learnt to meditate; I read books more (something that I loved so much prior to marriage); I started listening to podcasts. I travelled onto Country and I picked up my camera again, relearning all the reasons I loved the story a photograph brings. I’ve never put my camera down since and actively go out to create self portraits on a monthly basis.
For you, this could be anything from regular exercise and a balanced diet to meditation and journaling.
Take it from me – Self-care is not a luxury; IT IS A NECESSITY for rebuilding your sense of self-worth.
Embracing Change And New Beginnings
Change can be daunting, but it also brings new opportunities.
Embrace the uncertainty of your new life and remain open to new experiences and relationships. I learnt that each step forward, no matter how small, was a testament to the resilience and strength I felt.
Remember, finding the woman within is not about perfection; it’s about authenticity.
It’s about embracing your flaws, celebrating your strengths, and recognizing your inherent worth.
The Deep Lesson Of Self-Worth
Perhaps the most profound lesson that came from this journey is the understanding that my worth is not defined by my relationship status. And neither is yours.
Your worth comes from within, from your unique qualities, strengths, and experiences.
It is about loving yourself unconditionally and recognizing that you are complete and valuable just as you are.
Divorce is a significant life event that can shatter your world, but it also has the potential to rebuild you in ways you never imagined.
By finding the woman within, you embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery, healing, and empowerment.
This journey, though challenging, ultimately leads to a deeper, more enduring sense of self-worth.
And finally, remember that every step you take on this path is a victory.
Each moment of self-discovery and self-care is a testament to your strength and resilience.
Embrace this journey with an open heart and trust in your ability to emerge as a stronger, more self-aware woman.
Your journey to rediscover the woman within is not just about surviving; it’s about thriving and living your life with renewed purpose and joy. And I warmly invite you to come join us in our Studio to explore finding the woman within, and lets together, create photographs that will be your daily reminder of your Becoming.
As always, feel free to follow me to be in the know on my social spaces: Facebook or Instagram where I share all posts and updates for my blog posts.
Till the next time, have the most incredible day/night Friend.
Melissa xoxo
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