Growing up as an Aboriginal girl, I carried the weight of self-doubt like a second skin. Each morning, I’d wake up feeling like a stranger in my own world – too different, too awkward, too everything that I thought I shouldn’t be. My thoughts were a maze of self-criticism, each turn leading to another dead end of “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never amount to anything.”
But looking back now, I realize that the walls of that maze were built by my own thinking. They weren’t solid stone – they were thoughts, as changeable as clouds in the wind. This is the story of how I learned to reshape those thoughts, and in doing so, reshape my entire world.
The Prison of Negative Thoughts
When you’re young and shy, the world can feel overwhelmingly large. Every classroom interaction becomes a mountain to climb. Every social gathering feels like walking through a field of invisible tripwires. I remember how I used to hug the walls during school events, trying to make myself as invisible as possible, while my mind raced with thoughts like “Nobody wants you here” and “You don’t belong.”
These weren’t just passing thoughts – they were stories I told myself every day, stories that became more real with each retelling. My Aboriginal heritage, which I now recognize as a source of profound strength and wisdom, felt like another reason to feel out of place in a world that didn’t seem to have room for my difference.
The Turning Point
The change didn’t come like a lightning bolt. It came slowly, like the first light of dawn – gradually illuminating the darkness until I could see clearly. The pivotal realization was simple yet powerful: my thoughts were not facts. They were habits, and like any habits, they could be changed.
I began to notice how my negative thoughts had become automatic responses. When someone would smile at me, my mind would immediately search for the hidden mockery. When an opportunity arose, my first thought was always “I can’t.” These weren’t truths – they were trained responses, and I could train new ones.
Learning to Rewrite My Story
The process of changing my thinking became my personal ceremony of transformation. Each negative thought became an opportunity for change:
When my mind whispered “You’re too different,” I learned to respond with “I bring a unique perspective.“
When it said “You’ll never succeed,” I countered with “Watch me try.“
When it insisted “You don’t belong here,” I reminded myself “My ancestors survived generations of adversity – their strength flows in my veins.”
The Power of Cultural Connection
As my thinking began to shift, I discovered something profound: the very heritage that had once made me feel like an outsider was actually my greatest source of strength. I began to see my Aboriginal identity not as a barrier but as a bridge – connecting me to thousands of years of resilience, wisdom, and survival.
The shyness that I once saw as weakness, I began to recognize as sensitivity – the ability to read rooms, understand unspoken emotions, and connect deeply with others. The feeling of being different transformed from a burden into a gift – offering perspectives and insights that only someone with my unique experience could bring.
The Ripple Effect
As my thoughts changed, so did my actions. The girl who once hugged the walls began to step into the center of rooms. The voice that was once silent began to speak up in class. Small steps led to bigger ones, each success reinforcing the new story I was writing for myself.
But perhaps the most profound change was in how I began to see other shy, uncertain young people – especially other Indigenous youth wrestling with similar doubts. I recognized in them the same struggles I had faced, and I realized that by sharing my journey, I could help light the way for others.
A Message to My Younger Self
If I could speak to that shy, awkward little girl now, I would tell her this: Your thoughts are powerful, but you are more powerful than your thoughts. Your difference is not your weakness – it is your superpower. The very things that make you feel out of place today will be the things that help you make your unique mark on the world tomorrow.
To anyone reading this who recognizes themselves in my story – whether you’re Indigenous or not, whether you’re young or old – remember that changing your life begins with changing your thoughts. The voice that tells you “I can’t” can be retrained to say “I will.” The mind that sees walls can learn to see doorways.
Your thoughts are the seeds from which your future grows. Choose them carefully, water them with belief, and watch how your world transforms.
Looking Forward
Today, when I look in the mirror, I no longer see that shy, awkward little girl who felt so out of place. I see a strong Aboriginal woman who has learned to turn her self-doubt into self-discovery. The journey wasn’t always easy, and some days those old thoughts still try to creep back in. But now I know the truth: we are not our thoughts – we are the thinkers of our thoughts, and in that lies our power to change.
Remember, your story isn’t written in stone. It’s written in thoughts, and thoughts can be rewritten. The pen is in your hands.
With love, Mel xox
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