Ima going to be honest now…..

I have done what everyone else wanted me to do; to say; to be; to look, and I am 50 and it still matters to me what other people think of me, say about me, think about me….that is until today.

My epiphany, it came when I was just scripting my recent Instagram post moments ago. And I was wrestling with my word choices and the ‘hidden’ messages that those in the social media world would read into or about, in my post. Three times, I had deleted and rewrote the post! And each time I was silently chastising myself for the language I used and the way that I write. HELL…. I was even angry at myself for not placing a full stop in the right place in the post twice! My grade 5 teacher – Mrs Shields – would be so disappointed in me and most likely would cringe even at this blog post!

Then I realised that I am not like everyone else.

I do swear (at certain times of course and never around elderly or my Elders) and I write exactly how I speak. I don’t often spell check – because it seems the only correct spelling electronic devices recognise is American – and I don’t allow my own thoughts and opinions to come through, because, let’s face it – we are all scared of being ostracised or targeted on social media.

Crazy thing is….. the literal meaning of social media is – to content share and communicate. And if I can’t share my thoughts, content and ideas with the intent to communicate them as I would in any other space that I would typically communicate i.e. networking, with Clients, friends, etc., then I must STILL be emotionally and mentally blocked somewhere. I carry an energy of shame and low self worth.

Shame about who I am as a person.

Low self worth about my voice not mattering.

They say the first step is to recognise where you are failing so that you can start to transform your entire world. My mentor and coach, Sue Bryce talks about this OFTEN, and about how we are all energy. And it have never really hit home to me, until today.

So now I need to move into step 2, and begin the work of changing these energy flow on these two things, and I started right back where I smacked with this realisation – today’s Instagram post.

I posted like I speak and I posted to speak to MY tribe; my Ideal Client; the one person who will see what I have written and for them, it will mean something to them. But that was an easy one. There is more to delve deeper into and I have recognised that for that, I need a coach and mentor that:

• lives in the same time zone as me
• will meet with me in person (or via Zoom) for one-on-one mentoring
• aligns with me and my values
• will help me address the negative energy that is affecting both my personal and my business life

Currently, I am ‘interviewing’ possible candidates.

Look, if I am going to spend my money with them, you best be believing that I will do my research on them to check their skills and knowledge in what it is that I specifically am looking for in my mentor!

Oh, and I have begun morning journaling too as soon as I wake up as well as the daily – I give myself permission… – in a previous blog post

This shift….it will be seismic and liberating! I can feel it already!

If you feel that you are also on a journey of your own, you feel you need support, and you have a blog too, let me know so we can support each other.

Have a blessed weekend folks xoxo