Mother’s Day: A Personal Story

Mother’s Day is a special day just for Mum’s.

To honour and celebrate mothers and motherhood and Mother’s Day as a History can be traced back to the early 20th Century in America by Anna Jarvis wanting to commemorate her own Mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis (a peace activist and community organizer), invaluable role she played for mothers in society and all of the achievements she successfully achieved. But it’s origins can be traced even further back to ancient festivals and the Christian tradition of ‘Mothering Sunday’.

And while you can find copious articles that explain all of this history of Mothers Day on the web, I’d rather get a little more intimate with you and share my experiences with Mother’s Day and why I personally am in turmoil about celebrating this Hallmark day.

While I have no issues about any of the usual perpetual Hallmark celebration days we have on our calendars, Mothers Day isn’t marked as a reminder on mine.

During primary school, us kids were given pieces of coloured paper, glue and glitter, and told to – “Go make a beautiful card for your Mum that tells her how much you love and appreciate all the things she’s done for you this year.’ Problem was…… I always had trouble with doing that.

I loved my mum. But I did not see how I could appreciate her or the things she had done, because I didn’t see it.

You see, all of my childhood moments, the love that I felt and the attention I received as a girl growing up (and as a woman), that all came from my Grandmother, not my Mother.

I was actually very bitter towards my Mother.

I was the youngest of 3 girls, and we had a younger brother and from what I witnessed, all the attention and focus my Mother had, was directed towards my younger brother.

I should point out here, that my sisters and I, we had a different father to my brother and it was my step-dad who lived with us and supported our family growing up.

As a kid, when you can visibly see and feel that your treated differently by one of your parents, it becomes really hard to lean into becoming loving and affectionate towards that parent. I am not entirely sure that my Mother was actually aware that she was treating us girls differently from our brother, as kids. And, to this day, I’ve never really asked her either.

But there comes a day when, as a kid, you just accept what is and move on to find that Motherly love that you crave, elsewhere in your circle of family. And I found that in my Grandmother. I also never knew until most recently that, us girls were placed into a children’s home for a very very short time, because welfare didn’t consider that a young Aboriginal woman (my mother), with no job and no stable home could care for her 3 girls.

When my Grandmother found out about this, she came and took us back to her house with her, where us girls lived for a while. I was only a toddler at the time, and my Mother, after losing her girls, she moved to Sydney. That’s where she met my step-dad.

While it has taken me YEARS to emotionally grow, heal and mend my own feelings and hurts about this and many other things of my past. I don’t hate or despise my Mother for her actions and what she did. She was a young parent herself.

And they say it’s best for your own personal self growth and healing we must forgive the people that hurt us first.

But I don’t see it that way.

I felt that for my healing journey, it needed to start with me.

I forgave myself first.

I forgave myself for and all of the clouded judgements, all the wrong things, all the hurts and the wounds that I carried for many years, that were all a result from my childhood. And while to some people, that might seem wrong and most likely, a lot selfish, for me, it was what I needed.

I needed to ask for forgiveness for me.

No one else. Me.

And I now make it abundantly clear that although my Mother and I aren’t close, we are Mother and daughter.

Without her, I would not be in this world.

Nor would my own children or my grandchildren. And THAT is the legacy that I love the most.

It is okay to ask. Especially to ask for something for yourself.

Make a conscious affirmative decision to ask for what you need. Whether its from yourself to begin forgiving yourself; or its something that you need from the people that you love and those around you.

Will my kids buy me a present on Mother’s Day? Probably not. But I know that they unconditionally love, honour and respect me as their Mother, because my girls tell me almost every single day. As do my own three grannies.

You are most definitely worthy of any and all ask’s you need.

Ask. Ask. Ask. And Then Ask Some More!

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Mothers Day: A Personal Story
  1. Rachel says:

    This 🙌 Raw, real and such a testament to you, your journey and the amazing woman you are today. Thank-you for always sharing, for making it ok for people to acknowledge and walk their journey their way and the acceptance and vulnerability you share and welcome x Happy Mother’s Day beautiful 💛

    • Melissa Mills says:

      Thank you lovely xx.
      It is never easy to be open and honest about personal things. In fact, it’s the scariest place for anyone to be, but if one shares, we all share and hopefully work to find the courage to feel safe in an open platform of our choosing.
      Your own light shines brighter too because of the person that you are beautiful. Shine on! XOX

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